Because she is only a child, she does not realize how inappropriate, dysfunctional, and wounding her mother’s behavior is. She has no mature pre-frontal cortex nor any cognitive framework to create such insight and realizations; she has no frame of refernce other than her own alcoholic mother.
As a recovering alcoholic in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and as a doctor of clinical psychology and a psychotherapist in private practice for over ten years, I have observed and treated many people diagnosed with alcoholism and their family systems.
Questions to Answer:
What is your depression narrative? Do some writing about the story of your depression.
How do you judge yourself for being depressed? Do you blame yourself, or do you project blame onto others, or both?
Most often people have an adversarial relationship with their depression. Once we see any hint of depression in our minds, we often become reactive and judgmental about why we are depressed. Sometimes our reactions to our depression (judging ourselves and self-medicating) often become more problematic than the depression itself.
Death is a classic and frequent topic of art and philosophy. Why? Because it is the most easily recognized universal human suffering. All humans die. Everyone who is born will die and this includes you.